2008-08-30 - 1:03 p.m.
Tears and Cadence
In case you were wondering, you can ride a bicycle race while sobbing like a toddler. I know. I did it today.
I spend so much time judging the people around me, nit-picking their flaws and shortcomings. Amazing how instantly that is all forgotten on mile 15.2 of rt 157 to the top of Lee Canyon. I think anyone who isn’t grateful for their wife and children should enter a really challenging gut wrenching dig to the deepest trenches of your heart bicycle race and ask themselves who they want to see 2 miles from the top.
I haven’t felt a rush of adrenaline and power like that since turn three of every 400m race my senior year in high school. I haven’t been so happy to see anyone the way I was when Timbo and Lubo chanted “Dude, F’n yes I can!!” at me when my body was ready to quit.
Here goes something!!!!
I can’t believe Anthony remembered our little phrase.
It all started with a supermoto race where I was destined to finish dead last yet again, and with a roll of my eyes I looked at Ant and said: “Here goes nothin.” He insisted I give myself a chance despite the odds…He insisted on somethin’ instead of nothing…and so it was from then on.
So when my Dodge 1500 came rumbling past with “Here Goes Something!!” written in white shoe polish on the back window, I felt lightning in my body, tears on my face, quiverying lips, gasps in my lungs. The last 2.3 grueling miles were to be my fastest yet. Fueled by…Love??
Who else could have carried me up that mountain?
The tears began at mile 11. They came from the beautiful surroundings and the reality of the fact that I was racing again. Racing from my heart not just from my guts…To push harder meant only that…It didn’t require that I take chances or risk life and limb….Only that I dig deeper.
I sobbed and laughed in disbelief at the fact that I am 32 years old and still, my dreams are coming true. I always imagined that I’d race in the olympics or college or something…That time is gone, but the dreams are not.
Mount Charleston Hill Climb, 8-30-08. I cancelled my race entry a few hours too late. Maybe there is a God. Or maybe I knew deep inside that I was supposed to do this. I haven’t felt this high since Pioneer Conference Championships 1994.
All the harassment poor Bessie gets for her reality shows. ‘Intervention’ started this whole thing. My future before that show was different than my future after that show. “I can’t race bikes…those guys practice like 6 hours a day.” Did I know I was lying to myself even then??
